What happened this week in ...

1993

There is nearly carnage on the terraces of Eton Park when Steve Dolby's wife lashes out at a Burton Albion fan who called her husband a "Gresley w***er" during the local Derby clash between Burton and the Moatmen. A "handbags at ten paces" situation is narrowly averted when the culprit runs away, like a big girl.

1988

Gresley boss Frank Northwood sparks an emergency when he runs out of fags at half-time during a Banks's Brewery League match with Boleshall Swifts. Northwood locks his players in the home dressing room and refuses to come out until a despatch rider is sent out with police escort to a nearby shop to stock up on the ten packs of Bensons & Hedges he needs to last the game.

1984

Excitement reaches new levels of intensity at the Moat Ground, as the match they've all been waiting for finally gets underway - the big top of the table clash with Smegley Hill Colliery. The season's highest attendance - 87 - crams into the Moat Ground to see veteran goalkeeper Bob Aston defy the years to pull off save after save to deny the visitors. Gresley are winning 3-0 with just seconds remaining when the visitors Captain - an expert in mining subsidence - declares the sloping Moat Ground pitch unsafe, and the match is abandoned.

1979

The latest trend to sweep the nation - Football hooliganism - finally hits the Moat Ground amidst sickening violence. A supporter of visiting Arkwrights WMC sparks a near-riot situation by insulting a loyal Gresley fan's pet. After disturbing scenes of pushing, shoving and shouts of "Come on then!" and "Do you want some" are finally quelled by a brave steward, the irate Gresley fan at the centre of the disturbance explains the extent to which he was provoked, claiming: "He called my whippet a 'slag' ! "

1968

Goalkeeper Bob Aston attempts to emulate football superstar of the day Bobby Charlton, by brushing the few remaining strands of his hair across his balding pate, in a dramatic sweep. However, the Gresley custodian's attempts to keep up with fashion backfire embarassingly when his wayward locks become entangled in the goal netting, causing play to be held up for 10 minutes.

1944

A stray German bomb lands on the Moat Ground, leaving a giant crater at one end of the pitch. No-one notices.

1936

Young goalkeeper Bob Aston makes his Gresley debut at the tender age of 17.

1911

Gresley manager Alf Crickleworth claims his team are the "Titanic" of the Birmingham League - unsinkable. The fool.

1884

Queen Victoria passes through Church Gresley on the Royal Train. The straight-laced monarch orders the blind on her carriage be drawn, saying "God, what a dump."

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